(If you are wondering why we are 6 days into Lent but its only Day 5 it is because Sundays are not included in the 40 days of Lent.)
After my car ride with my buddy Stu that revealed my lack of practical belief that God could do much of anything, I received a clear directive from the Lord: Read the 4 Gospels slowly and stop each time the themes of faith, belief and unbelief came up. Keep a journal and write about each of these stopping points. Seemed easy enough. On the morning I began this trek through the Gospels I read Psalms 37. “Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.” (v.3) With this commitment to read through the Gospels I realized a voyage was beginning, a journey to cultivate faithfulness.
The way I began to “cultivate faithfulness” was to read Chapter 1 of each book (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) on different days and stop to journal each time I ran across the words “faith”, “belief”, or “unbelief”. After that I went to Chapter 2 of each book and so on. There was no time goal…it was private time with The Father. Each day, when He lead me to a story or statement about belief/unbelief, I’d stop and note what I was hearing and feeling. Often it would take two or three days to get through a single chapter. This did not bode well with my internal wiring. My nature is more about results than relaxation. Somehow though, there was no hurry to complete the task, and learning about faith became more important than checking a chapter off the list.
As you think about your own areas of unbelief consider internal tapes that may be playing in your head. What do you tell yourself over and over throughout the day, most likely in your subconscious, that is simply not true. I am too _____, I will never _____, the Lord won’t ever heal ________. If you are having a hard time identifying an area of unbelief in your life ask a friend or spouse. Chances are they can see it.