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Lent Day 19: FEAR

Fear is at the root of control.  Something in us fears what will happen if we don’t try to control a person or situation.  We do not think we can handle to outcome, so we try and control the outcome so that we don’t end up disappointed.  I came across a great acrostic for FEAR.
FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

Our mind plays many tricks on us when it comes to fear.  We run scenarios in our head about how a situation or relationship will turn out if we don’t control them. At our core, we don’t believe it is possible to live the life we desire by simply allowing things to happen.  I am not talking about being assertive in a situation or relationship.  Being assertive is a great quality.  What I am talking about is expectation.  We set an expectation in our mind about how a situation or relational moment should play out, and we can’t stomach how bad we will feel if our expectations are not met.  At this point, the only option is control.  The irony is that by controlling a person or situation we can’t ever have our desires truly met.  Our deepest desires are for attention, acceptance and affection.  Only by surrendering these desires can we ever hope to have these desires met.

As John tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18)  As we let go of fear and expectation we begin to learn to love and be loved.

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