As the weekend went on, the Lord reveal more specific lies that I had believed for a long time:
“I am a boy and not a man. At some point everyone is going to leave. God can’t heal the deepest hurts of my heart.”
As theses lies came to the surface I knew that something had to be done about it there in the Islands that weekend. By Sunday morning of the trip Ryan and I crept over to a bluff, journal in hand. I shared with him these lies that the Father had revealed and asked him to pray through each lie with me in order to break this cycle of fear and unbelief. We put a stake in the ground that morning on Saddlebag Island. The lies were broken and now the hard work of replacing those lies with truth was awaiting me back home. Thankfully, before our trip ended the Lord walked me through an amazing experience of writing down His truth about me. I used the famous “What is your name” scene from the movie Gladiator as a template, and this is what I wrote:
I have read this statement each morning for the past 7 years. It has become a daily prayer for me. As Jesus has continued to reveal new truths about myself I have tweaked the prayer. In fact, the prayer in my journal today looks quite a bit different:
My name is Shawn Raymond Petree, Beloved, I am loved.
I am Your son. Your Spirit is in me. Christ is formed (and is forming) in me. I am an heir of Your Kingdom, a prince, a saint. I chose joy today!
I am a strong, confident, warm, assertive, courageous man, a warrior
Husband to a beautiful Godly wife
Father to three provided children
Friend to many, arch enemy of Satan, and I will have my vengeance against him in this life and the next.