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Ash Wednesday: Unbelief Exposed!

It was truth. Everything in me trusted it. There was no expectation or even anticipation of greater things. It just was. The breakthrough happened later. There was and is more. Much more.

For a long time I couldn’t see it. After all, how could I? I was living in unbelief!  Everything had to make sense in my world and if it didn’t there was no place for it.   Slowly I began to realize that we all are living right in the middle of our own story. The props and people in our individual stories vary, but the fact that our core is impacted by what happens to us resonates with sameness.

For years, the recording in my head played a script of unbelief, pain and disappointment. Everything was filtered through my experience microscope. Although I had heard and sung the words of “Jesus Loves Me” over and over in various setting throughout my childhood, I couldn’t connect the dots of “…for the Bible tells me so” with what I was experiencing as a young boy.  I couldn’t believe the simple words from the song. I couldn’t believe that I was loved.

My story began with the six-year old me sitting in our living room where my parents sat us to inform us they decided to no longer be married.   There was confusion and sadness, and even though I was there with my three-year old brother and seven-year old sister, I felt very alone. Most of my life I did not understand. Now, as a husband and a dad of three young children I realize things must have gotten really bad for my parents to decide their best decision was to live separately.

What is your primary area of unbelief?  The lie that I believed for years, that I wasn’t truly loved by God or anyone else, was revealed to me ten years ago.  Over the next six weeks I will share more of my story and the process of how I came to believe the core truth that I am loved.

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